February 17, 2015

Like a Little Kid

He climbed up the back of the couch and tumbled backwards into my arms. He danced on top of an upside-down toy that sang him a song. He threw a tiny ball into the air time and time again, tirelessly toddling to pick it up and grin. He made tractor sounds when his parents headed off for a date - no worry here! He bonked his head two or three times, but the dazed look cleared from his face in seconds - on to a new adventure!

Such an adventurous spirit! Such joy! Such bravery! When was the last time I did something unusual and uncomfortable and new - for the sheer joy of discovery? It's been a while. 

This little man inspired me to start discovering again. He inspired me to do something uncomfortable because it will be fun and I'll learn something. He inspired me to keep going, keep moving, keep picking myself up again

It might be a hard life, a tiring life. But boy... it's a good life. 

Yes, let me be like a little kid again. 

February 10, 2015

...but what for?

I'm passionate about being healthy. Believe it or not, I enjoy researching health food (real, whole foods like fruits and veggies, raw dairy, grass fed meat, chia seeds, the list goes on), GMOs, and herbs. I love working out too. Then sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself - and wonder. Here I am, completely wrapped up in healthiness and becoming the best I can possibly be..... but what for? To what end? In a word, why?

Why do I spend so much time learning about "healthy food?"
Why do I eat salads instead of sandwiches?
What's the reason behind the hours I spend working out?

Today I didn't like the answer.

Why do I chase a healthy life? To be beautiful and to live long and to feel good about myself of course!

And I say I'm passionate about Jesus and about His work but today that wasn't what I saw. I'm His child, yes. But I am still far from perfect. That's why He's working on me, sanctifying me.

Today He uncovered my motives and I've got a feeling that's what He'll be working on for a while.

Child, be passionate. Chase health. Be strong and beautiful and wise. But do all that.... to My end. Do all that... for Me. Let Me be your reason. Let Me be your "why."

So yeah. This could be a long journey, because God's got some serious motive-habits to melt away in me. It's probably good to start with some concrete goals:

I will research and learn about health - so I can teach others and improve their health, pointing them to Christ - the true Healer - all the while.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition....
I will pursue excellence in my fitness so I can be strong to help others and to spread the Gospel. So I can point to Christ as my strength.
...or vain conceit...
I will eat healthy, real food to be an example of the self-discipline that comes from walking in the Spirit. Also to live the longest, most productive life I can in order to chase God's calling on my life with energy!
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.

February 8, 2015

On Posting, Shards, and an Artist

What do I really have to share with you guys?
Just fragments of a stumbling story, sanctification slowly breaking through the cracks of me.

Sometimes I wonder if my words really make a difference. I mean, I know God is working everything out for a glorious purpose. But what if He wants me to close this chapter and get on with life? Because I really don't write much on this blog.

I have this notion that it takes too much time.

That I need some lightbulb-revelation flecked with gorgeous word pictures if I'm going to ask you to read my posts.

But now that I think on that a bit, I don't think that's the truth. God was pleased with the poor widow's offering of two small coins and not with the rich people's heaps of money. Because she gave all that she had.

Yeah. I don't have much - sometimes my spring of words is all dried up. But God hasn't closed this blog's door yet so He must still be crafting a masterpiece. And these words are still paint on His brush.

So I'll keep writing. But instead of hoarding my coins until I've got a decent offering to bring, I'm going to start giving all that I have. Like the poor widow.

Just the little lessons. Short, honest, messy things. I'll be offering up the bits of this sanctification story as they emerge, smudged and worn like my journal that time I cried as I wrote.

So I'm going to stop trying to bring great offerings for God, trying to help Him out by teaching you some important lessons. I'll leave that to the rich people. This is now God's studio and you'll be seeing the chipped and broken things - all I really have to give.

Because God? He's fantastic at making stained glass. You know - that gorgeous art made of fractured misfit shards. 

Yes. A stained glass studio. My life is the broken being made beautiful. And God? He's awesome so He's both the artist and the very light that will make me shine.