Time to Stand

I stood alone in the kitchen, debating the cost. That frozen custard with my name on it? Yeah, it was pulling me hard with an invisible rope. Because what kind of girl would commit to 30 days of crazy-clean eating? Shouldn't an eighteen-year-old be enjoying life a little? These self-imposed fences: no sugar, dairy, grains, or legumes... I put them up, so it doesn't matter if I hop over them for a second, right? 

Except I had committed to this. Told friends, told family, that I was going to do this. My reasons are a story for a different day; the deal here is that I was literally ten seconds away from killing my commitment, seven days into it. After seven days of eggs and salads and sweet potatoes and simple healthy food, all I wanted was that frozen custard. I talked to God a bit, arguing with Him. He told me to go into the gorgeous sunshine and breathe. I said no, I want dessert. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall. Then I chose disobedience and took a step to the cupboard for a bowl. 

He will provide a way out.

Oh hey, what was that? Dad pulled up to the garage, and my brother strode towards the house. 

Why is it I always want to indulge in secret? Well, scratch that plan....

BAM! God shot a hole in the temptation. A hole just big enough for me to wriggle through. 

I actually breathed a thank-you as I turned away. It's crazy how sin makes us miserable, but sometimes we don't realize it until we're on the other side, hmm?

Friends, listen. No temptation has you in it's grip except what we all experience. And God? He's faithful. He won't let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. When you're tempted, He will provide a way out so you can stand up under it. You can count on that one, because well, it's God we're talking about here. 

Today, I almost collapsed under temptation. But God provided a way out just like He promised. And somehow, I stood up under it.

Folks, it's time to stand. You will face temptation today. It's gonna be hard, real hard. But God will provide a way out. Listen; today, it's time to stand. 

DIY Whipped Shea Butter

This stuff looks like frosting. Or whipped cream, or something delicious like that. But I wouldn't taste it if I were you... 

Slathering it on your skin, however, is a whole 'nother story. Did you know that shea butter can soothe sunburn, eczema, acne, and insect bites? It's also known for fighting wrinkles and stretch marks! Most commonly, though, shea butter is praised for it's fantastic moisturizing properties for the skin. 

My favorite thing about shea butter is how it soaks into the skin almost instantly, keeping you free from that oily feeling some homemade lotions bestow. And this whipped shea butter is super easy to make! This was only my third batch, and my first and second tries turned out just like this one.  

DIY Whipped Shea Butter

Makes approximately 8 4oz. tins 

Supplies:

• 12 oz. raw, unrefined shea butter (if yours isn't raw, it's okay. That's just the absolute best kind.)
• 4.5 oz extra virgin olive oil (same here - regular olive oil is fine too.)
• 1.5 t. vitamin E oil
• 80-100 drops essential oil of your choice. I used lavender, but peppermint and lemon sound good too!
• tins or jars to store your whipped shea butter

You'll also need:

• scale to weigh your shea butter (at least, I needed one)
• double boiler
• hand-held mixer
• plastic baggie or frosting bag
• measuring cups and spoons

1. Heat the shea butter in a double-boiler over medium-low heat until it's partially melted. You still want big chunks in there so it looks like this:

The first time I made this I melted it completely down, and although it turned out fine, step three took forever.

2. Add the extra virgin olive oil and vitamin E oil. At this point you might want to transfer it to a mixing bowl with higher sides - you will be beating this, and a pan with short sides will probably send shea splatters all over your kitchen. Which is okay if you like cleaning. :P

3. Whip on high with a mixer for several minutes until the shea butter is cool. When it's done it will be smooth, light, and fluffy. If this is taking too long you can stick it in the refrigerator for a minute to speed up the cooling process, then resume whipping. Repeat as much as necessary. 

4. Add the essential oils and mix on low until incorporated. 

5. Dollop the whipped shea butter into a plastic baggie or frosting bag, and cut a small hole in one corner so you can squeeze the whipped shea butter out in a manageable fashion. I suppose you could just fill your containers with a spoon or spatula, but this looks cooler. Plus, it's fun. :)

6. Fill your tins or jars with the whipped shea butter and stick labels on them so people know not to eat your wonderful homemade body butter! 

I want to give credit to Organic Authority for the gist of this recipe. I used theirs as my base.

...but what for?

I'm passionate about being healthy. Believe it or not, I enjoy researching health food (real, whole foods like fruits and veggies, raw dairy, grass fed meat, chia seeds, the list goes on), GMOs, and herbs. I love working out too. Then sometimes I catch a glimpse of myself - and wonder. Here I am, completely wrapped up in healthiness and becoming the best I can possibly be..... but what for? To what end? In a word, why?

Why do I spend so much time learning about "healthy food?"
Why do I eat salads instead of sandwiches?
What's the reason behind the hours I spend working out?

Today I didn't like the answer.

Why do I chase a healthy life? To be beautiful and to live long and to feel good about myself of course!

And I say I'm passionate about Jesus and about His work but today that wasn't what I saw. I'm His child, yes. But I am still far from perfect. That's why He's working on me, sanctifying me.

Today He uncovered my motives and I've got a feeling that's what He'll be working on for a while.

Child, be passionate. Chase health. Be strong and beautiful and wise. But do all that.... to My end. Do all that... for Me. Let Me be your reason. Let Me be your "why."

So yeah. This could be a long journey, because God's got some serious motive-habits to melt away in me. It's probably good to start with some concrete goals:

I will research and learn about health - so I can teach others and improve their health, pointing them to Christ - the true Healer - all the while.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition....
I will pursue excellence in my fitness so I can be strong to help others and to spread the Gospel. So I can point to Christ as my strength.
...or vain conceit...
I will eat healthy, real food to be an example of the self-discipline that comes from walking in the Spirit. Also to live the longest, most productive life I can in order to chase God's calling on my life with energy!
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.

It's not a Balance Thing

I'm not an easy-going person. If I had to describe myself as either "laid back" or "up tight" it would definitely be the latter. Which means I'm very punctual, precise, self-motivated, and driven. My energy is either directed 100% towards a cause... or not at all.

So I've always struggled with this balance thing. 

See, I've read a lot of words and heard a lot of talks

that I've walked away from thinking that a "good Christian life" is a balance. 

The area that's on my heart right now is that of health, eating, and exercise. I believe many people are caught in idolatry - myself included - in this area. We either obsess over health and being fit - or throw our health out the window and obsess over eating. And remember how I said I'm an all-out driven person? So I find myself parked in either of these idol camps way, way, too often. Seeing as these two temples are located at opposite ends of the spectrum, it would seem that a healthy God-honoring place is in the middle. In the balance. 

But guess what. God talked to me. I was begging Him to be a good father to me because I'm such a lost little girl sometimes. I'll have to beg more often in the future, because He left me silly-stunned, blessed by Him.Thankfully I had my journal handy. This, my friends, is what I wrote. Raw from my journal, a shard of my heart.

I've been trying to find a balance between obsessing over food and obsessing over health/skinniness, but God just told me something. What if it's not a balance at all, but an all-out feast on God? What if the key is not controlling my actions/desires, but letting myself be controlled by Him? 

BAM! Mind blown. 

Because of course God isn't in the middle of this spectrum of idol camps. He's God, for goodness sake! And God's not in the same dimension as idols. He's got nothing in common with them. 

I refuse to believe that God is in the middle of a row of idols. 

If that thought weren't horrifying enough, I've found that I wasn't created to stand steady in the balance-middle-tightrope place. God made me with a drive to run somewhere far, and the legs to get me there. Remember my 100% or nothing tendency?

So. 

It's really that simple. Huh. 

Not money....God.

Not food.....God.

Not appearances.....God.

Not health......God.

Not friends....God.

But all those other things? God's word says they will be given to us after we seek God (His "kingdom and his righteousness") in Matthew 6:25-34. So we get to feast on God and get our physical human needs fulfilled. 

This anti-balance principle is written all over the Bible, now that my mind has been sufficiently blown. Take Colossians 2:21- 3:4, where Paul admonishes the Colossians for sticking to the dimension of this world, following it's rules, self-imposed worship, and harsh treatment of the body. He goes on to tell the Colossians to set their hearts - their want-to and motivation - on a different dimension. The dimension above this world, where Christ is. 

Guys, I'm sick and tired of this balance thing. I'm on a mission, 100%. An all-out feast. 

Towards God. 

Want to join me? It's gonna be a wild ride!

Five Minute Peanut Butter Soft Serve

Once and a while I'll come across a healthy dessert recipe that is easy and that actually tastes good. On an even rarer occasion, I'll find a recipe that I love with a passion and that is healthy enough to eat for breakfast. Like, every day. And recipes like that are worth sharing! Thus, I present to you my Five Minute Peanut Butter Soft Serve!

This peanut butter ice cream is so rich and creamy I often have to give myself a little pep-talk: it's just like eating peanut butter and a banana with a glass of milk! Relax, and enjoy your ice cream! Because it's seriously that good. Mom and little brother approved. ;) I use a Magic Bullet, which is probably why this recipe takes just five minutes, but it would probably turn out in a blender as well.

Five Minute Peanut Butter Soft Serve

Serves 1

• 1 frozen banana, in chunks
• 1/2 c. milk or cream (raw if possible; cream makes it so so much richer but milk is still delicious)
• 1-2 Tbsp. peanut butter (I use the natural stuff you have to stir up - the less processed, the better)
• Pinch salt 
• Dash vanilla

Dump everything in a Magic Bullet or similar blender and blend until smooth. I usually have to stop the blending and shake it up a few times to get everything moving around. If the banana chunks won't go away, add a bit more milk/cream. 

Variations: The salt and vanilla are optional. Try adding cocoa powder for a chocolate peanut butter version! I have also added chia seeds or powdered herbs.

I often eat this for breakfast after my workout (actually it's more like every day...), because it's important to replenish your body's carbohydrates (banana) and protein (peanut butter and milk) after working out! I also love peanut butter with a passion, so I will take almost any opportunity to enjoy it! Let me know what you think, or if you try it in a traditional blender... or come up with fantastic new variations!

Perfection

    If you asked me if I consider myself a perfectionist, I would say yes. And a couple years ago, when I developed a love for healthy food and herbal remedies, I never guessed that my perfectionist nature would mix with an onslaught of new "health food" and exercise information I've found from the Internet to create a problem.

    Do you know how confusing it is to have read at least ten different articles about the best way to handle exercise? Or how about reading tons of blog posts about getting fit - all written by fit people who took totally separate roads to get there? And then there are some who count every calorie they consume, while others advocate vitamins and supplements for health. Should I work out twice a week, every day, or not at all? And what exactly is the perfect "work out"? 

    As an impressionable young lady, all this information swirled around in my head, then manifested itself through my perfectionist tendencies and caused me to start worrying - about my image and weight. Although I was in the ideal weight range for a girl my age and height, for some reason I couldn't get out of my head the fact that I was still gaining weight. Prone to over-thinking, I managed to figure everything out - or so I thought. Forgetting the fact that I was still a teenager, and meant to grow in more ways than vertical, I decided to take pieces of advice from various older ladies floating around on the web and concoct my own fitness plan. While trying to exercise more, I tried to eat less "bad food" and ended up eating less of my mom's good, wholesome meals and more of my own smoothie concoctions. I started snacking between meals and tended to eat too much dessert and peanut butter (a weakness of mine) at random times. With all the changes I had subtly made, I didn't feel satisfied in my belly or my heart. On top of all that, I wasn't seeing the results I had secretly hoped for. 

    Instead of keeping my weight the same or less, I was startled to see that I was still gaining weight. Confused, I ended up confiding in my mom (best idea ever, by the way), and she asked me her go-to weight question: "well, do your pants still fit fine like before?" Yes, they did, I said. So we concluded that with all my exercising I was gaining muscle (which weighs more than fat), and that I was probably snacking too much. That said, my mom suggested I stop eating my mini meals and just eat more of her hearty ones less often. We also decided that I needed to put a stop to my "health research" on the Internet so I could focus on listening to my body instead of other's opinions.

    And you know what? I've realized through this process that my body isn't meant to be the weight I had set for myself as "ideal." And I have a feeling I'm not the only girl who this is true for. My heart hurts when I see girls who are far to concerned with their weight and appearance, and also when I see others who have let their weight get out of control. 

   Then there are the hidden gems that make my heart smile so big. Those are the ones few and far between who have found the balance of self-control and peace with how God made their bodies. Those are the girls who can say no to a second dessert but who don't sweat the first. Those are the girls who understand that a tiny waistline doesn't define beauty. Those are the girls who eat when they are hungry - not before, and not after. 

    Those girls know that beauty comes from inside, but self-control shows up on the outside. I respect them deeply because they understand how to glorify God with their bodies. They understand that there should be a balance between striving to be fit and just living life. That, my friends, is how I want be when I grow up. I don't care if I don't have a supermodel figure, if only I am beautiful on the inside. 'Cause it's the inside that counts, in God's book and mine. :D 

Any thoughts? I'd love to hear them in the comments below!

Eating My Nuts and Whey

You know what? When I started this blog I expected it to be mostly about healthy stuff and homemade food and sewing projects... 'cause that's what I like. But somehow that didn't happen... and this blog has been mostly about my everyday life and struggles and God moments. And you know what? I like it that way! But I also think I'd like it if I posted about healthy recipies, herbs, or homemade projects once in a while - things that weren't so deep. :) So, maybe once a month? After you've read my first try at a tutorial, I'd love feedback about how often you'd like more of the same!

Remember in my last post when I mentioned that I was getting braces? And you know how I'm not supposed to be eating nuts while I have braces? And you didn't know before, but now you know - that raw nuts are one of my snacking staples. So. I introduce to you perfectly raw cashew butter!

Being the health nut I am, I often try to squeeze as much nutrition out of a dish as is possible without ruining the taste. So of course I soak my cashews to break down the phytic acid and enzyme inhibitors before turning them into nut butter. But guess what? We happened to have almost a quart of sweet whey in the fridge from making homemade greek yogurt.

If soaking grains in whey makes them more nutritious,I thought, then why not sub whey for the water when soaking the cashews before making the nut butter? 

It was worth a try, right? My only fear was that it would ruin the taste, so I did the cautious thing and soaked part of the cashews in water and some in whey. 

I let them soak for about two hours, then drained the nuts and parked by the food processor as I impatiently watched the nuts look like this: 

Then like this: 

And finally like this:

It took a long time. And I had to stop the food processor every so often to scrape down the sides, too. The first batch - which I had soaked with water - was rather bland, so I added a couple pinches of Celtic sea salt (use whatever type of salt you have) as I was finishing up. It never got quite velvety smooth, but I did learn one thing: after draining the nuts, try to blot up as much liquid as possible; this prevents a funny oil vs. water texture I got on my first batch ('cause the nuts produced oil when they we chopped up). It ended up like this:

And it tasted fine! I'm glad I added the salt, though. ;)

The batch that had been soaked in whey actually had a nice, almost salty taste - to my complete surprise - and so I left it plain, without salt. 

I thought the two batches tasted nearly the same, so I'll definitely use whey (if we have it on hand) the next time I soak nuts! 

How far would you go to add a little nutrition to your food?