Confessions of a Writer who hasn't been Writing

I've been lazy.

Telling myself I have no words to write

But really I've just failed to dig them up out of my heart.

For me, writers block is a frame of mind

That comes in the summer.

Lazy days and

No deadlines.

I think I sometimes cheat myself out of deep words spilled out on the page

Because I fear the currents

Tugging beneath the glittering surface.

I see the sun reflecting off the shining water 

Mesmerizing 

Pretty shallow thoughts

And Pinterest-perfect quotes.

I sit on the bank ignoring parched lips

And dirty hands,

Content somehow.

I need to force myself to step into the water

Break the smooth shining surface 

And 

I need to drink deep,

Dip in

And find strong currents.

Dangerous waters.

Because there 

In the scary place

In the dark mystery

I find Him.

And when I find Him

I find words.

I'm gonna try to write more, guys. 

Easy Party Chip Dip

So I've got another recipe for you today. It could be because I love food or it could be because I've been cooking for a graduation party... Or maybe a bit of both? ;)

But this recipe is seriously the momma of all chip dip recipes. It is uh-ma-zing. Sweet, rich, and tangy. It tastes complex, but it only has three ingredients! So so fantabulous (that's an actual word!). 

Easy Party Chip Dip

      2 pkgs. cream cheese, room temperature

      10-11 oz. pepper relish (I used sweet, you could use hot or any other type)

      1 can crushed pineapple, undrained (20 oz.)

Whip the cream cheese with mixer until fluffy (a minute or so), then mix in relish and pineapple. Store in refrigerator. It's delicious right away, but if you're feeling fancy you can let the favors "intensify" and "mingle" in the fridge for 24 hours. ;)

Dream Come True

Guys. I am so excited. So so excited!!!!! One of my dreams has officially come true! See, there's this blog called therebelution.com and I love it. It encourages young people to soar above the low expectations our culture has loaded on us. If you haven't visited it before, I'd strongly encourage you to check it out! 

But yes. Back to my news. I wrote a blog post and submitted it to therebelution.com.... and they published it on the blog!!!!! Like, there are actually a LOT of people reading this crazy post I typed up! I am so honored. But really, God gets the glory because he kinda dumped the words into my head. So yeah. Hop on over to Therebelution and check it out! 

Brownie Cupcakes

My family has not made a boxed brownie mix for years. And I'm so so so glad, because we get to eat brownies that are even better! Have you ever made real homemade brownies? You should. Definitely. The recipe I use makes a 9x13 pan, but today I made a bunch of brownie cupcakes instead! Don't you want one?!?! Me too... they're pretty awesome. ;)

One of the best things about this recipe is that you only have to use one pan to mix it up in! So choose a large saucepan that will hold a whole batch of brownies. First, combine butter, cocoa powder, and oil over medium-low heat. Stir occasionally until it's all melted together. While you're at the stove, turn on the oven to 350 degrees to preheat.

Remove from heat, then add the sugar.

Oh yum...

Stir in vanilla, then add all the eggs and stir. You may have to use a fork to get the eggs adequately incorporated. ;)

Add flour, baking soda, and salt and stir well.

My favorite part - a mountain of chocolate chips!

Put cupcake liners in cupcake pans and dollop the batter in! I didn't put anything on the liners to keep the brownies from sticking, but you could if you want. For tall brownie cupcakes like mine, fill the liners about 3/4 full and you'll get 18-19 cupcakes. If you want smaller cupcakes, fill them 2/3 full and you should have enough batter for more than 20. 

Bake for 26-27 minutes... and enjoy your delicious cupcake brownies! 

Brownie Cupcakes (with a gluten free option)

    Makes 18-21

Ingredients:

    2/3 cup butter

    3/4 cup cocoa powder

    1/4 cup olive oil

    2 cup sugar

    4 eggs

    2 tsp. vanilla

    1 1/2 cup flour*

    1 tsp. baking powder

    1 tsp. salt

    1 heaping cup semi-sweet chocolate chips 

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Stir first three ingredients in large saucepan over medium-low heat until butter is melted. Remove from heat and stir in sugar. Add eggs and stir. Add vanilla and stir. Stir in flour, baking powder, and salt. Mix in chocolate chips. Put cupcake liners in pans and fill 2/3 full (for smaller, flatter brownie cupcakes) or 3/4 full (for tall brownie cupcakes) of batter. Bake for 26-27 minutes. 

*My mom makes this recipe gluten free by using an all-purpose gluten free flour mix instead of flour. It still tastes delicious, and I typically can't tell they are gluten free! :)

To make traditional brownies with this recipe, just grease a 9x13 pan and bake for 33 minutes. 

White Flag

I started a post on surrender, trying to force the words. How silly of me. And when they didn't come I laid my head down, dejected. Useless. Then in the quiet I heard a voice.

True surrender is not doing what you think I want you to do.

An authentic white flag is the exposing of yourself. Surrender is the abandonment of all self-preservation in the presence of one more powerful than you. Surrender is, in essence, turning over your own life and will to someone else's hands. 

Because when I surge ahead, living my life like I think God wants me to, I'm still living my own life.

When I obey His leading only when it is comfy or cool, I'm just fitting obedience into my life whenever I want to. 

No. Surrender doesn't look like that. Surrender looks like turning in my old life in exchange for the new. Surrender means dying to what I was so that Christ's resurrection power can come to life in me. 

Surrender is most definitely a kind of death. But what kind of a God would call His followers to present each moment as a waving white flag? A good God, that's who. Because my God - the God who calls me to daily surrender - has a better life to give me. I've learned that when I give up my life to Christ, He gives me His life in return. 

When I surrender, it is no longer I who lives, but Christ in me. 

And that's what a white flag is. 

A humbling, 

uncovering, 

dying of myself 

so that one more powerful than I can live.