Time to Stand

I stood alone in the kitchen, debating the cost. That frozen custard with my name on it? Yeah, it was pulling me hard with an invisible rope. Because what kind of girl would commit to 30 days of crazy-clean eating? Shouldn't an eighteen-year-old be enjoying life a little? These self-imposed fences: no sugar, dairy, grains, or legumes... I put them up, so it doesn't matter if I hop over them for a second, right? 

Except I had committed to this. Told friends, told family, that I was going to do this. My reasons are a story for a different day; the deal here is that I was literally ten seconds away from killing my commitment, seven days into it. After seven days of eggs and salads and sweet potatoes and simple healthy food, all I wanted was that frozen custard. I talked to God a bit, arguing with Him. He told me to go into the gorgeous sunshine and breathe. I said no, I want dessert. I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall. Then I chose disobedience and took a step to the cupboard for a bowl. 

He will provide a way out.

Oh hey, what was that? Dad pulled up to the garage, and my brother strode towards the house. 

Why is it I always want to indulge in secret? Well, scratch that plan....

BAM! God shot a hole in the temptation. A hole just big enough for me to wriggle through. 

I actually breathed a thank-you as I turned away. It's crazy how sin makes us miserable, but sometimes we don't realize it until we're on the other side, hmm?

Friends, listen. No temptation has you in it's grip except what we all experience. And God? He's faithful. He won't let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. When you're tempted, He will provide a way out so you can stand up under it. You can count on that one, because well, it's God we're talking about here. 

Today, I almost collapsed under temptation. But God provided a way out just like He promised. And somehow, I stood up under it.

Folks, it's time to stand. You will face temptation today. It's gonna be hard, real hard. But God will provide a way out. Listen; today, it's time to stand. 

Confessions of a Writer who hasn't been Writing

I've been lazy.

Telling myself I have no words to write

But really I've just failed to dig them up out of my heart.

For me, writers block is a frame of mind

That comes in the summer.

Lazy days and

No deadlines.

I think I sometimes cheat myself out of deep words spilled out on the page

Because I fear the currents

Tugging beneath the glittering surface.

I see the sun reflecting off the shining water 

Mesmerizing 

Pretty shallow thoughts

And Pinterest-perfect quotes.

I sit on the bank ignoring parched lips

And dirty hands,

Content somehow.

I need to force myself to step into the water

Break the smooth shining surface 

And 

I need to drink deep,

Dip in

And find strong currents.

Dangerous waters.

Because there 

In the scary place

In the dark mystery

I find Him.

And when I find Him

I find words.

I'm gonna try to write more, guys. 

Operation Skittles

I've had an idea rolling around in my head a lot lately. It's an idea of community. Of encouragement. Of accountability. Of the body of Christ. 

In a few words, it's Operation Skittles. Before you label me as crazy, let me remind you that girls can get rather nonsensical at times. And I'm a girl. With girlfriends. So when three of us girls got together and started an unofficial accountability club, it was out of the question to christen it something normal. If you get my drift. ;) 

So my two best friends and I did something totally abnormal, maybe even absurd, for three teenagers. We got together to talk about our God lives. I was thrilled to know that I had two sisters in Christ who cared enough about each other to just randomly come over and let down their comfort bumpers, to 'fess up, and to get real about our daily temptations. 

I don't know how long we talked, outside on the white glider swing. One by one we cracked open the doors to our hearts and let each other in. Because sometimes, friends, our hearts get sick and heavy feeling. Sometimes the best way to loose the chains is to share our burdens, like it says in God's word.  So I listened. To temptations and sins and battles and uncertainties. And I hugged, eyes welling full of the hurt one was feeling. And I talked, like the others, sharing my burdens too. God seemed so real in those moments, because I felt Him in the miracle of troubles shared and evaporated. My heart grew light, filled with bubbling joy, peace, and trust. Cracking open our hearts let the trouble fade with sharing. Cracking open our hearts let in God's light. Then, with smiling hearts,we laughed, and imagined, and fantasized... about what our futures will hold. 

When the shade finally turned cool, we repaired to my room where we wrote our daily temptations down, each keeping the struggles of the others. That hurt, a bit. Letting others in on the sins I battle daily, and giving them permission to ask about them later... that stings at first. Because I know I won't always have a good report. Those sins they wrote down to remember are my weakest areas. But you know what? In order to heal a wound you need to clean it first. And that hurts. In the end, though, it's always worth it... the discomfort is always overruled by the healing it brings. 

So I'm hoping with a strange hope that my girlfriends stay true to Operation Skittles - that they keep me accountable, out in the open. Because I know that it will bring healing and make me stronger in the end. So I'm praying that the girls bring on the interrogations next time we meet! 

I want to challenge every one of you to get excited about Jesus, about the body of Christ, and about accountability. How to get excited, you ask? Make another Operation Skittles! 

I hereby challenge you to connect with one or two Christians you are close to. Talk on the phone, face to face, or by email. Let your secret fears out. Push past the comfort zone and find the growing zone. Tell each other your struggles and temptations. Write them down and keep each other accountable! And give it a name! Operation M&M, maybe? Or Operation Gummy Bears? Oreos? Name it something sweet to reflect the reward it will bring!

What name did you choose? How will you connect with your Christian Cohorts? 

I'd love follow ups, too - were you able to open up, and how did it feel?