How can I write words unless I'm filled to the tippy-top and overflowing with the Word Himself?
How do I write when the well is dry, cracked, and unable to keep drops from seeping away?
How? I wondered.
Fill me up, Jesus, whispered my heart. Give me a new well, one without cracks, one with a source everflowing.
Renew my mind, Lord, 'cause I'm dry and thirsty and how is one supposed to bubble life when life's sunk deep below the fill line top?
Oh, and Jesus?
You've got to do the work. I tried it before, tried filling up with your water, but when I struggle to wrap arms and life's broken shards around life liquid flowing, my heart forgets it has a spring.
Yesterday my heart whispered, a faint, parched cry.
But Jesus, He's got good ears, you know?
So moment by moment He renewed my mind. They came like drops of crystal clear sweet water itself, small gifts of thoughts pointing straight to Him.
Time after time, all day long, He reminded me of Himself.
The Living Water.
And I sipped sweet life, all day long, as He splashed into my mind, renewed, and my heart, made new.
The well I had been was one clenching and grabbing, struggling to grasp water.
But boa constrictors squeeze and clench to crush their prey.
And my well fractured and cracked and leaked all the more as I frantically hugged the life leaking away.
So when I whispered, unclenched, loosened my grip, I made room for Him in my heart.
You know the Christmas carol singing "let every heart prepare Him room?"
It sings of truth.
Because the human heart is made to clench, to squeeze, to beat pumping something. And if we don't release and open up to the Maker, our hearts squeeze and crack, broken wells, unable to hold water.
But Jesus is working in this heart of mine, renewing me, reminding me.
Because I don't have to hold tight to the water.
My well is filling, always flowing, from the spring of Life-water Himself.
And my pumping, squeezing, pulsing, heart?
It is the means by which Life-water splashes and bubbles, flowing over and over,
pulsing life.
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