October 27, 2014

A Safe Place for My Love

I'm going to practice a little transparency here and say that fall is not my favorite season. 
I love the warm sunshine.
I love the trees that catch on fire with color.
I love the crunch of leaves under my feet.
I love the smell of the autumn air.

All this might render fall my favorite season if it wasn't for one thing. 
The transient nature of fall.

I'm a steady girl who doesn't like change or unexpected happenings. 

So the warmth of the sunshine is cooled by the knowledge that it will soon be gone.
The fire in the trees is tainted by a wish that they would stay just like that. But I know they won't.
Crunching leaves remind me that more leaves are falling and they'll soon be replaced with snow.
And the deep autumn smell hanging in the air is almost like the countryside's last sleepy breath before it buries itself in snow-white hibernation.

Autumn is beautiful. But I cannot love it as I long to because it leaves me holding my breath, straining to capture every glory before it drifts away. 
And I think every human being aches to find a beautiful thing to love without reservation. A beautiful thing that will not turn ugly in time. But we can't bring ourselves to love with a passion because we know that this glorious beauty will disapear and we'll be left cradling a disintegrating brown shell of a leaf. 
Is there anything I am safe to love?

Only God.

That God who breathed life into Adam? 
He who picked the lowly Abraham, Gideon, and David and changed the world through them?
The God who healed the sick
Who made the blind see
Who loved the little children
Who died without fighting back
And who rose up alive, brilliant hope fulfilled.

And God? He doesn't change like the shifting shadows.
He doesn't cycle like the seasons.
That life he breathed into Adam is still filling my lungs. 
This lowly girl is being used by God in mighty ways.
God heals my sickness
Opens my eyes
And loves this child of His 
To the grave 
And back again.

He's not transient. He will stay. And stay. And stay with me.

Yeah, I think I could love someone like that. 

Because He won't disappear like the glories of autumn. 

He is a safe place for my love.

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