August 24, 2013

Sand and Surrender

    One of the best things, the best of all the fantastic times I had at family camp last week, had to be when we threw rocks into the lake. It's really quite hard to describe the spiritual brevity and freedom of those moments, but I'll try my hardest to make your heart understand.
    We'd just listened to a sermon. It was a fine sermon, like all the ones I digested last week, but the fact is that often I have trouble getting any solid nutrition out of sermons. I nearly always feel convicted, encouraged, inspired, or all of them together during any teaching on God's word. But then the speaker steps off the stage and the information and inspiration slip quietly out of my mind and heart. 
    This night, this sermon, was just tip-toeing out of my heart as we trailed out of the youth chapel and followed our leaders to the water's quietly lapping edge. My mind was just going with the groove I'd worn, doing it's job and "moving on" to "normal" thoughts. 
    We sat down, shoeless, on colorful beach chairs in two rows on the beach. 
The sand hugged our feet as Dutch (camp names, you know) picked up the already fading lesson we thought had been dropped forever by Ambush five minutes before. Ambush had talked living real, sold out for God. He showed us his testimony, about how he had lived as a "Christian" for so long before he truly knew the God he knew so much about. 
    As he started talking, Dutch pulled the retreating sermon back into view in my mind. It was that to live real a body's got to get rid of the fake junk inside. Jesus cleanses, we knew, but fake junk has a way of imprinting in the human mind, reappearing time and time again. And it's hard to live real when fake has a home in your heart. 
    So Dutch's words were Jesus's words, that sometimes we need to clean house. Sometimes our hearts need a deep cleaning job. And sometimes in order to make it a true deep cleaning job it's got to be from the inside out. So outside, Dutch said, we could wash our feet, our hands, our face. Symbolism, it's called; this mirror of the inside and out. 
    Dutch showed us another mirror, of sins thrown as far as the east is from the west, into the sea and never to be seen again. Rocks with sharpie words mirrored sins, and the lake shimmered forgotten and forgiven. Dutch said we could hurl them, our sins into the lake. Never to be seen again. Then Dutch stepped away and a huge awkward monster of silent fear took precedence. Who wanted to go first, to openly wash of our sins or make a splash of hurling them into the waters? No one, of course. 
    Finally, boldness showed up in the form of a 13 year old boy, asking "where are the rocks - I'm gonna need a lot!" The awkward  monster slunk glowering away, as boldness multiplied. But me, I sat smugly still as one by one others stood in obedience. Honestly, my mind was blank for a while of sins I could write on rocks, but I knew God was doing something when I looked down and saw my bracelet - surrender - and felt an undeniable twinge. 
Seconds passed, and sand shuffled under feet and rocks plunked quietly, calling. The words came, of course. Pride. And Selfishness.
    I gathered myself in a deep breath, then stood and moved with obedience, head bowed like all the others. Two stones plunking wasn't as satisfying as the freedom of sitting back down, head up and with a heart so full I could hardly smile. My heart welled up, liquid, almost, as I watched obedience shuffle and plunk and splash and cleanse. 
    I've never seen a group of teenagers so quietly respectful, so humble, with their heads so lost in Jesus-clouds. 
    That night is something I won't soon forget. Ambush's message made a lasting crater in my heart because I acted on it. I never would have thrown pride and selfishness into the abyss of forgiven and forgotten past if Dutch hadn't snagged Ambush's message on its way out of my mind. And we never would have obeyed if one brave soul hadn't asked where are the rocks? And I never would have shuffled sand, head down, if the Holy Spirit hadn't moved surrender from my arm to my heart. But that night had Jesus written all over it. So it all fell into place, and now my bracelet is more precious to me than when I paid $5.00 for it. That bracelet has Jesus written all over it. 

    Some of you girls reading this were there with me. Did it make a different impact on you? 
    If you weren't there, have you ever had a similar experience?

10 comments:

  1. Oh, Andrew.....
    Throwing the rocks in the lake really helped me with the saying "as far as the east is from the west" Thank you Dutch =)

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    1. Yeah, me too. I so hope Dutch is coming back next year!

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  2. Hey Girl! This is Valerie by the way.. So I totally just came upon your blog by accident! I didn't even know that you had a blog!...but I'm glad that you do :) Love reading it!

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    1. Hey! I'm glad you found me too... It must be a God thing. :) So glad you like it!!!!

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  3. I love this! I never thought of it this way, but Andrew was VERY brave to go up first! I would have never have done that! This was an AWESOME yeah to describe that day!

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    1. I I wonder if Andrew knows that he's being praised so highly on the Internet... :P but seriously, I'm so glad you've found my blog! So... did I hear something about you starting a blog - about gymnastics or something? I would be so excited if you do!

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    2. yes I did! It is about just misc. stuff, advice, and tutorials. http://showinggodsloveisbeauty.blogspot.com/

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    3. Just checked it out, and I love it! Keep up the great work!

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  4. im sitting in study hall right now and am just reading this post.... I really wish I could have been there! Oh, and Andrew is right beside me, I might show this to him ;)

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    1. Wish you could have been there, too! Next year, maybe??? Did you show it to Andrew?

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